[x]

We're so shy. . . . It was kinda cute.

It keeps following me, && I really think it's time for me to go.

That smell. . . . . it won't go away. . . . . .

If I try talking to it. . . . . .
it goes away
If I ignore it. . . . . .
it does everything it can to get my attention

*He's a shy one

I'm not scared of it.
Nor am I scared of it's beautiful terrifying smile.

I did call for it a few years back,
now. . . . I didn't even pick up the phone and it's already here. . . .

Is it a warning?

. . .or did it finally answer my last call?

He tries talking to me. . . . . .
and I go away
He tries to ignore me. . . . . .
and I do everything I can to get his attention

I'

An Angel for the BrokenEyes slowly pry open
Light floods the room, a voice calls your name to wake up.
Please, please,
I beg you
I don't feel well today, I don't want to go to school.

"Don't be ridiculous."

Walk slowly to the bus.
Tears shed, anticipating what will happen in prison today.
Waiting, waiting,
All eyes are on you, waiting for you to make a mistake.
To stumble for just a moment.

So they can pounce.

Always keep your head down,
Never make eye contact.
A shove, a giggle,
You are their circus clown,
And they are the hungry, underfed lions.

The ring master won't defend you.

What can you do?
Attempts to fit in,
Maybe, maybe,
If you dress

He is DeathThe wind whispers soft on skin
The breeze lifts hair and goosebumps
The river flows fast and loud
and my heart is cool and calm.

But that is not the whispering wind
And that is not what causes my gooseflesh.
That is not a river pure and flowing
And my heart begins to race.

The cloak of night He wears has brushed me.
He breathes down my neck.
Blood of His victims stains the river.
And my heart gives a sudden jolt.

He is Death,
who reapes the innocent
deep in the night.
He is Death,
the friend and enemy

A Letter of ApologyDear everyone,
People of my world.
I write to you now, an apology.
For hiding, for hating, for faking.

Hiding from you,
Fearing your rejection blindly.
Assuming the worst,
When all you want is what's best.

Hating you,
Such jealousy for you.
Your beauty, your talent, your intellect,
The qualities I never saw in myself.

Faking that smile,
Pretending everything was fine.
You'd laugh honestly,
And I'd cry out in pain through a chuckle.

Dear everyone,
People of my world.
This is my written apology,
For never being able to enjoy life.

Until now.

Sincerely,
Getting better

For My Fallen AngelMy angel fell once
Will never again
Never again

***

Yes, our hearts were broken
They died slowly in our chests
You had mine, I had yours
Nowhere they are
Nowhere they are

Yes, I did cut and make you bleed
It was the demon inside me
Demon inside me

(You know...
How cold, yet so warm
He was)

(I know...
How lost, yet so alive
She was)

***

Your heart will be whole
I promise, I do promise

You know I love you
As I still hold the piece of you
In my chest, in my chest

Will you keep my heart safe?

***

Death Angel will open his wings
Broken wings, broken wings
To give his last protection

His Fallen Angel
Will be safe, lov

Just Let Me DieLet me die with dignity
It's the least that you could do
I dug this grave for me
But you can lay here too

And, no, it's not your fault
You don't have to say goodbye
This blood is on my hands
So don't you even try

I can't get a fresh breath
Your words hanging in the air
As still as certain death
But they're getting us nowhere

And you'll cry your last tear
As we lie here in waiting
Just to be forgotten
Our memory fading

Our lips press together
In one final kiss
Our one final effort
To re-right our sins

And it's here we'll die together
Just broken memories
We don't have to wait forever
To hear the angels sing

But still I

Stenciled Smiles on Paper HeartsI don't like to feel this way
There must be something I can say
Cause I hate just watching you
When I know the pain you're going through

Listen…

You're not alone; I've been where you are
Contemplating where I'll place my next scar
Hiding razor kisses underneath long sleeves
It doesn't make it better; nothing is achieved

Believe me…

All you'll earn are the scars you've got and
The lesson learned is the lesson forgotten
You feel like no one's there, no one cares what you do
Let me put it to you straight: That is never true

I Know…

I was shunned, pushed away many times before
Then I realized it was I who had closed the door
I to

Morbid HeartThese painful tears still fall down
For the suffering I never give in
Angel wings of mine covered in crimson
Had forgotten how to fly long time ago

This little piece of ice I hold in my hands
For it shows the coldness deep inside
These eyes now empty and merciless
No tears, no more tears I shed

In this forest of darkness I walk
As a deadly shadow of the night
I roam forevermore these paths
There is still lost beauty within

These morbid thoughts better hide
They have darkened innocent hearts
Once so warm, pure and loyal
Turned into the worst suffering

His vicious life
Ends as the dawn rises

This shattered heart of mine I give

I am a Fallen Angel

Wings as black as night, eyes as a cold winter blowing over fallen from the place humans want to go. Cast down onto earth for being myself, I don't belong in heaven or in the darkest places of hell. I am not the only one to here are others just like me, we are proud to be fallen angels.
We are the outcasts; we are the amazing Angels that dare to be different. We shout the rebel yell we scream for the new religion. When will they hear our cries, our shouts, our fighting spirits will never be broken. When will they see that we are the forever unholy and we will keep screaming and shouting for an eternity?
How long is going to take to be accep

NostalgiaSo now that you have reached the stars,
And you have set the world on fire,
Like you said you would; with your guitars,
And you continue to rise higher,
Do you ever stop and think about:
When all of this was still just a dream?
Back to the first time pen met note pad,
Inscribing the first shout,
Which was soon a melodious scream,
Telling the lonely not to be sad?

I often wonder if you miss it,
If you feel the bite of those old times,
Though it does sound silly, I admit.
But do you ever look back sometimes,
And smile at the boy who sang of hate,
Who dreamed of a home for the outcasts,
Do you remember that younger you,
As he wrote his own fate

Cuttin' timeWith a small press, my feelings left.
The blood drawn, from skin.
Un-tamed and wild,
Tearful and broken.

No matter the day,
No matter the time,
Let's cut away.

To day
By day.
To night
By night.

Let's cut away.
As those minutes tick by,

The nails scratching the surface,
Shaking in trembled cold sweats.
Watching shadows dance.

To make sure that only one sees.

My own eyes, stained by the sight.
Creating fresh scars,
To hide again.

Blaming everything, but myself.
"Let's run away, come on dear."

Innocent remarks, held in the past.
Now causing the scars.

Tamed with scissors, pocket knives, razors.

Haven't mov

written in reddeath is me,
life is hurt,
secrets bring trouble,
and lies make it worse.
why don't i know you?
is our friendship really not meant to be.
why are you keeping secrets?
why have you told me lies?
so now i write on myself,
all the pretty little things,
with only a knife,
and my bare skin.
the lies that you told me,
the sad things that i am.
the skin tells my story,
now all written in red.
"die"

RoseYou were there…
a rose and its perfect red petals
in my imagination's garden

Your fragrance with its grace
pulled me close and I
dared not look at your face
a simple man in front of
a Goddess

Unable to touch
like a dream
and yes maybe your thorns
were too real
Or maybe, just maybe
the garden was only
for the passing beholder.

To take you in my home
and cherish myself
with the aroma
i wanted…

Too much gain, though
against all too much loss
You are better off in the garden
where you live and maintain
your sweet balm and colour

Not in my hand
where you live for
an hour.

Keep spreading your essence
oh, beauti

Red RoseA single red rose,
A single glimmer of hope;
A river of tears
On a clear night,
And a whispered promise
Sent unto the wind.

A treasured love lost,
A treasured dream hidden;
A silent scream
Into the mists,
And a broken soul
Seeking atonement.

It Is (Depression)It is a shroud of black velvet.
It is the violent ocean in the dead of night.
It is the monster in the shadows; the Vashta Nerada.
It is the final crash of symbols in Carmina Burana.

It is impossible to lift.
it is impossible to breathe.
It is impossible to see.
It is the only thing that can be heard.

It is why the stars disappear at night.
It is why every light drifts by without stopping.
It is why the gnawing starts and never ceases.
It is why nothing else matters in the end.

It is my disease.
It is my disability.
It is my misfortune.
It is my death sentence.

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Submitted: May 6, 2012
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I'm afraid. . . I might drop the pen. . . . . . .

by ~DeathBeyondLove, May 6, 2012, 1:02:36 AM
Literature / Prose / Non-Fiction / Emotional

. . . . . They're at it again.

^{"My mind. . . . It's playing with me again.
The voices. . . . they just wont stop. . . . . . .
&& they're. . . . driving me crazy."}

^{I feel pathetic, weak. . . . . stupid.
I just want them to stop!

Please,
I'm begging you!

Those painful memories. . . . . . that voice. . . . . please!

GO AWAY!

_{"Please go away} _{_{please go away}} _{_{_{please go away}}} _{_{_{_{please go away. . . . . . "}}}}

I'm scared, It won't shut up!
&& I'm about to lose it. . . . . . . .}

_{_{_{_"Pathetic"}}}

"SHUT UP!"

_{_{_"Weak"}}

_{_{"GO AWAY!"}}

_{_"Stupid"}

_{_{_{"PLEASE. . . . !"}}}

_{"You piss me off"}

_{_{_{_{"LEAVE ME ALONE!"}}}}

"You're not good enough, just end it. . ."

_{_{_{_{_{"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!"}}}}}

^{You're driving me insane. . . .
&& if you don't stop. . . .
I'm afraid I might pick the knife again. . . . .
&& drop the pen. . . .}

Stop.
Please. . . . . just. . . . . stop.
Stop everything!